Reading is not only a fundamental life skill it can also be an imagination builder, a vocabulary builder and even a blissful escape from a busy, hectic day into a calmer, happier world (or at least a more interesting one) That is if you have a love of reading.
Most parents understand the importance and value of reading and many happen to rather enjoy it themselves, so they worry when it seems like their child is struggling to read, or avoids reading, or, in some cases, outright refuses to read at all, claiming that they ‘hate it’.
In an attempt to get to the root of the problem parents will often consult teachers, their own peers and that font of all ‘knowledge’ the Internet, looking for signs that the child has a learning difficulty perhaps, or is being lazy or disrespectful. However, usually that is not the case at all. The fact is in 90% of cases is that the child’s love of reading was simply never ignited or was extinguished a long time ago. And sadly much of the time, although they certainly never meant to do it, parents are the ones who caused the problem.
How? Here are just of the ways you can help ensure that your child never voluntarily picks up a book again and hates every minute of it when they are forced to read one (in other words, things that should be avoided at all costs)
Becoming a Drill Sergeant at Reading Time
It’s certainly a good idea to try to ensure that a younger child is understanding and even retaining what they read. But if you turn a child’s reading session with you – which should be a treasured time, especially with the youngest readers – into some kind of pressured teaching session then they are very likely to quickly begin to dislike this time and reading too. Its fine to ask a few casual questions to help ascertain how much your child is taking in (do you think that Alice likes The Rabbit?) but if you turn into a drill sergeant barking out question after question the child is going to learn nothing more than reading isn’t fun at all.
Pushing Books that are Too Far Ahead of Their Reading Level
Every child learns at a slightly different rate and that includes how fast they reach a certain reading level. Being presented with a book that is simply ahead of their learning curve either in terms of vocabulary, style or subject matter can be very frustrating and even upsetting for a child. Take some time to find out (with their teacher’s help if necessary) where your child is in terms of their reading level and then suggest books that are appropriate to it.
Reading Becomes a Battleground
This follows on from the point above. If you feel that your child’s reading is not up to the standard it should be screaming and shouting and making belittling remarks about it are only going to make things worse. Some kids do indeed struggle to read and what they need from their Mum and Dad is patience, help and gentle guidance, not snarky comments like ‘why can’t you remember that you just read it?’ or ‘why can’t you read faster?’
Limiting the Books They Read
Books, as we mentioned, really can be magical things, especially for children and even teens. They can only be this however if the child is interested and engaged. Maybe your daughter really doesn’t like books about princesses and would prefer to read about dinosaurs and aliens? Not only should you let her do that but you should encourage her to do so as those are the subjects that engage her. Or perhaps your tween child prefers comic books and graphic novels to ‘proper’ books. Don’t discourage that interest either. A child who will happily spend a couple of hours reading about a clan of ninjas is far more likely to develop a love of reading than one forced to read a book because it’s ‘better for them’.
Forcing Books onto Them
As they get older assigned reading will become a regular part of your child’s formal schooling, and as the choices made there do still tend to be very dry and dull having their parents try to push even more unappealing fare on them will only annoy a child and cause them to see all reading as ‘forced’ and something to be dreaded rather than enjoyed.
Most of us have books we read as children, sometimes involuntarily, that we tend to think they ‘should’ read, and the temptation is to push them on them. But don’t, they get enough of that at school. Suggest a book if you must but don’t make it mandatory reading. Let your child discover what they do like to read and it will be far more likely to become a habit they enjoy rather than a terrible chore to be endured.
Understand It May be a Peer Pressure Thing
Older kids can be very cruel creatures and often a teen who likes to read will be branded a ‘nerd’ or a ‘geek’ for doing so, so avoid reading to avoid being teased. This is a tough one to overcome. You can’t go to the school and take on all of the bullies yourself but you can try to reiterate to your child that it’s OK to be themselves and that a love of reading, and learning, is a great thing. If all else fails there may be a larger problem with bullying that needs to be directly addressed with the school and the parents of the children involved directly.
Failing to Tackle the Technology Monster
Many modern parents are dismayed to see that even their once avid little reader stops voluntarily picking up books as they get older in favor of playing video games, talking and texting on the phone or spending hour after hour on Facebook. Instead of just admitting defeat and putting it all down to a ‘today’s kid’ thing that can’t be defeated gently remind them how great reading is and help them integrate it into their tech laden lives. Smartphone-o-philes can, for example be introduced to apps like the Kindle app as a way to take their reading with them and as many video games have tie in comic books and graphic novels associated with them you can gently suggest them as a way to remind an older child that reading can be fun.
Reading is certainly a fundamental skill. But if you make an effort to help foster a love of it while also helping you child master the ‘technical’ side of things then you are far more likely to help them develop a real love of reading instead of just the ability to do so if they really have to.
