Your child, normally a bright thing, is definitely dragging a bit these days. School is proving to be harder this year and the homework and the tests and all the study are probably taking their toll. This can be especially true if things are not going so well.
Then there is all the extra pressure that seems to be on young people these days. Peer pressure and the need to fit in have always been a thing (as we’re sure you remember) but social media, TV stars and those slightly odd Instagram and YouTube stars can make it worse.
It’s far from unusual for kids – especially teens – to start losing that truckload of self-confidence they had as a younger child. As a parent you want to help, but what can you do?
No one feels confident all the time, although some are far better than others at ‘faking’ that they do. And while there are hundreds of books, courses and speakers out there that claim to be able to fix self-confidence issues – which can let’s face it – affect nearly every aspect of one’s life negatively – sometimes all that’s really needed is a quick confidence booster to get your child – and their day – back on track. Here are some great, easy to implement confidence boosting acts that you can share with your child and maybe even make use of yourself.
Sit Up Straight
Make a conscious effort to maintain better posture can do more than just ward off an aching back. A study conducted at the Ohio State University in the US last year found that the very simple act of just sitting up straighter and higher can significantly increase self-confidence.
Get a Haircut
Or a hair color, or just a good re-style of an existing look is a very quick way to get a self-confidence boost, as small and trite as it might seem. The me time your child will get sitting in a stylist’s chair unable to answer your phone for an hour or so is a nice stress buster as well, so they get double benefits.
The Pick 5 Challenge
Tell your kid to look in the mirror, a full-length one preferably. Ask them to pick out five things about yourself that you do love. Eyes, hair, teeth, legs, smile, whatever. This simple exercise boosts confidence because it forces them to look at themselves in a positive light rather than continually lamenting what they perceive to be their flaws.
Learning to Say No
We all have a great many demands placed on our time. That includes young people. And, like you probably do, all too often they feel bad when they say no to some of them. Or they worry that the person asking for something from them – often a friend perhaps – will be mad if they say no.
And so they don’t. Or so they bide for time by saying things like “I don’t think I can” or “I’m not sure”, which is not the same as actually saying no of course. The problem is that the unwanted commitments then weigh heavy on them.
During a research project conducted at the University of California in the US, the researchers found that those people who admitted they had difficulties being assertive enough to say no were more prone to stress, burnout, and even depression, all of which kills self-confidence.
Learning to say no isn’t easy but encourage your child to look at it this way; by refusing an unwanted new commitment they will be better able to honour the ones that they have to fulfill and do a much better job of doing so. And nothing boosts confidence quite like a job well done.
Spend Time with Their Best Friends
People often say that no-one knows them better than their best friends. And that may well be true, especially if the relationship is a long-standing one. So sometimes the very best antidote to the confidence sap being shouted at by an over-demanding teacher or a bad test score inevitably leads to can be a few hours spent with people who know you have lots of great qualities, despite missing a deadline or failing to pick up the dry cleaning, and being around them will help reinforce that in your own mind.
No child should ever have to feel that in order to succeed in school they have to miss out on life, and that simple act of hanging out with some of the people they like best. Make sure your child knows that you understand they need time with their friends and allow them to get just that, as long as their homework is finished first of course.
It should be noted that some kids are not just in need of a confidence boost though, their issues run deeper. Depression is on the rise among Asia’s young people. If your child seems to really be struggling it is your job as a parent to make sure they have the chance to get help if they need it.
